who am i?

journal #33

2009-08-11T07:03:00.000-07:00

I am back!!

Wow, i am finally back to Korea about 2 weeks ago. However, i can not still think that i am in America. I feel like i am having some time with my church family, because this is the only time that i speak Korean that much in the U.S.A. Since i got back, i have been thinking that i wanted to come back to America. I did not even expect that i missed America. To be honest with me, i really miss America. I do not know exactly why i feel that way. I have tried to figure it out, but i end up failing to know the reason that i wanna know. I probably had a really good time and fun there with many people. I miss everything.

journal #32

2009-07-08T22:06:00.000-07:00

Let me ask everyone something, have you been to Grand canyon? If your answer in NO, you must go there and feel something as i felt.

A couple days ago, me and my friend named terry went to Grand canyon which is one of the most unbelievable landscapes in the world. Grand canyon has been showed to me by TV, books, and pictures. However, i had not had any idea how glamorous and splendid Grand canyon is. to be continued

Journal #31

2009-06-23T22:35:00.000-07:00

Movies!

- After i sold my car, i felt like i am kind of a animal which is in a cage. What i mean is that i am not able to go anywhere. If anyone wants to live in America, there is one thing that you have to have is a car. Most of buses rarely shuttle and there is no train. So, seems like i am in trouble right now. Today, i tried to get my gym by walking. while walking, i was thinking that i have been living easier than i think. I am kind of a negative person. When something happens to me, First thing that i come up with is the worst part. Since i got America, i have been trying to be a optimistic person and be changed. I believe that thinking is leading me to the better result. Even thought, i do not have a car, i do not let me down by myself. I tried to think that everything is fine and gonna be fine. I would have to say. i am not a person as before. I am totally difference compare to the past. For the past 1 year, this is a really precious time to me. I get back to have my shape and i have been learning how to speak English. In addition, i realize that how important all friends of mine are.

Journal #30

2009-06-23T09:18:00.000-07:00

Why don't u enjoy your pressure?

-Imagine that a lot of pressure are no longer with people. When i came up with that thought, it seemed like a perfect world that everyone wants. However, as the time goes by, my thought that i came up with first has been totally changed. Without pressure, there is no happy, wish, and achievement. So, now i want to ask people again. How about the world that does not have happy? Do you like it? Can you take it? The answer? of course!!!NO!.
That's right, without pressure, there is no happy. It is because happy always comes after pressure. When you have a crucial test in 2 days, right now you feel a lot of pressure on your shoulder. In 3 days, if you get a good result that you expected, you would be happy.
When i was in army, there was a helpful sentence that i like a lot. It say, "If you can not deny, enjoy." Every single time when i suffered from a lot of stress and pressure. i tried to remind that sentence, and it helped me endure everything that i suffered from. Enjoy your pressure as much as you can and take the sweet moment that comes after pressure. This is life. You know what? Life is pretty simple. It is like a routine. Pressure, happy, and sad over and over again. So everyone has to keep strong until they will get to have happy!!

journal #29

2009-06-16T22:09:00.000-07:00

Getting into baseball recently!

Recently, me and terry which is my best friend have been into baseball. Actually, terry is a lot more into baseball than me. When Terry was a little boy, he used to play baseball with his father and throw the ball a lot. So, when we first came up with that idea related to baseball, he got a flashback from past. I think that baseball makes him remind of his father. This is just my rough guess. By the way, almost every single day, after he finish working, we play baseball. I do not know. Just... so many things have been happening. Some of them are pretty bad, but some of them are pretty good. I do not know exactly what is going on me lately. However, one thing i am pretty sure is that i am getting stronger than before. When something which is hard to get over happens to me, i usually tend to feel a lot of stress and pressure. Mostly, i needed some time to get over. On the other hand, now when i go through something really bad, i just talk to myself and say like that it is not a big deal, Jesus is always with me. Then, unbelievably i am totally fine.
Jesus make me stronger and more optimistic person. Good thing that i know Jesus and believe in God. having a religion is such a good thing to do. Because there is something i can rely on. It would be absolutely different, when people have problems. So, no matter what happens to me , it could be bad or good. I won't give up, until i get over!!

journal #28

2009-06-10T23:32:00.000-07:00

Make a right decision!

I might be standing on the most important moment in my life. If someone asks me what life is, i would reply that life is a lot of decisions. That's right! Life is 'a lot of decisions'.
After i took the SAT in Korea, i had to choose which school i liked to go and also had to pick up major. These decisions sometimes turned to a good result or a bad result. Automatically, behind the bad results, i tended to regret why i did like that. It has been happening to me so far, even now. And right now i have to make a extremely crucial decision for my life. I am in America right now and i am gonna have to choose whether i stay here or not. Living in America could be a big chance to me. Also it could be a big risk. To be honest with myself, i do not know what to do. I have been asking myself, but i have not got answer yet. Who knows the future? Of course, no one knows the future. Everything is up to me. All i have to do is to prepare the right moment until i get that chance that i have been waiting for. In retrospect, i like the stable. I do not wanna take any of risk in my life. I have been always taking a stable decision. So, now i guess it is time to bet my life. Let's see what happen in the future!!!!!

journal #27

2009-06-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

What a great church!

- people do not know how important something is when something is always around them. what i just said happened to me a few months ago. My church family was always with me in bad time and in good time. So i did not know how important they were to me. i probably thought they were always with me. unfortunately, time is upcoming. i am going back to Korea in a month. Recently, i have been realizing that they are as important as my real family. Even though i was acting weired for a couple weeks, they did not even get mad at me. Just.. wait for me until i am back to be as normal as before. Without them, my life in America was going wrong way that i do not want it to be. i really appreciate everything that they have done to me. I am looking for something to do for them...... seriously. What can i do for them? I do not know what to do yet.
Thank you for bringing them to me. Thank you for everything. I believe that this is excately what god wants.
All i want is to stay with them as long as i can. I was not sure what i was going to do after i graduate. Now one thing has become clear. I will try to be back to America and do my best to build up Hills church with my hills family. This is what i want right now.

Journal #26

2009-06-03T22:22:00.000-07:00

New experience!
One thing that just happened to me was totally new to me. What i mean is that i went to prom party. Before i came here, i did not even know what prom was. This is kind of graduation party for high school in America. Yeah, prom party is to celebrate the graduation.

there is a girl in my cherch named Ji-sun. She was just about to graduate from high school. To be honest, everyone does not have to have a partner for prom party. However, having is better. She i just mentioned did not have a partner and has been under a lot of stress about that. So i decided to be her partner. Because prom is once upon a life-time chance. I did not want her to be sad because she did not have a partner.

Finally, i got that party and what i realized was that was such a good decision. It was just.. good.
There are a lot of people dancing and laughing each other without drinking a beer^^. That was a totally amizing happening to me. Without Ji-sun, i will never have that memories.

Journal #25- Final! Endless Challenge.

2009-03-22T23:11:00.000-07:00

As you can see, He is Jong bum Lee. He is one of the greatest baseball players in history in Korea. He has been called by many different nick names, for instance, sonic and genius. He had been playing baseball in Korea for 10 years, he made many new records what no one had done yet. He felt like there was nothing i had to achieve. seems like he needed higher goal. That is why he deiced to go to Japan. At that time, NPB obviously had a higher level of baseball league. He did kinda good job at the beginning as he did in Korea. However, unfortunately, his elbow got hit by a ball. So, his elbow was broken. For athletes, especially when they move to a different league, they need to some time to adapt to the new environment. That is extremely important. If they miss that point, they are gonna fail to adapt to the new league. After he returned from injury, he lost his condition and adaptable ability. He had had tough time for 3 years and after doing a lot of thinking, he came back to Korea. I think the pitcher who threw a ball to Jong bum's elbow did that job on purpose. He was kinda victim. So he had been looking for the right moment to revenge to Japan. Finally, he ended up getting that chance, because he went to America as one of the players for team Korea. Team Korea and team japan met for the semi-final. In 7th inning, team japan led by 1 point. He was standing at bat against Kuiji who is the best closer for team Japan. He did not wince and was not scared. He thought one thing i have to do is to make a hit and make team Korea as a champion. He eventually made a hit form Kuiji. What i wanna say is that i wanna see that scene tomorrow. I still remember that feeling when Lee made a hit and yelled. I really want team Korean to be winner and i wanna say to team Japan. This is our baseball we have been doing so far.

Journal #24- Team Korea's Great Challenge!

2009-03-21T23:29:00.000-07:00

There is a baseball game which is Korea VS Venezuela. Most of people who like the baseball think that Venezuela is gonna beat team Korea. It is because team Venezuela consists of many MLB(major league baseball) players. However, there is only one MLB player in team Korea. Unlike your expectation and guess, Korea defeated team Venezuela. As you can see on the left, there is a pitcher whose last name is yoon. He is a title holder for ERA (earned run average) last year at KBO. To be honest, i was expecting someone else, because Ryu is a substance ace for team Korea. Despite a lot of people's worry, Yoon did great job more than every one's expectation.

I am so excited about the result. Team Korea looks like a train that no one can stop. They are filled of thinking regarding victory. Not only they have passion, but also patriotism. These things are combined and mixed well, and make team Korea as one. That's why team Korea is incredibly strong compare to other teams. For the previous WBC, team Korea took the second place. At that time, everyone thought that was enough for team Korea. After 3 years, team Korea looks at the upper goal which is the champion. I think team Korea deserves to be the champion.

Journal #23

2009-03-02T21:42:00.000-08:00

skateboard.

last Sunday, after i came back from the church, i went to Jack in The Box to get some food for lunch. Mostly i drive to anywhere, no matter how close . Unlike other days, i felt like i wanted to take my skateboard. while i was heading to Jack, nothing happened to me. seemed like everything was fine. However when i was going back home, something which was horrible happened to me. There is a hill at the entrance of our village. I tried to go down that hill by taking the skateboard. while i was going down that hill, i realized that this hill is steeper than i expected. Finally, i ended up falling down. It was not important either how painful and how shame. What i felt was i have to go to Jack again. i thought i was able to control the speed.
Unfortunately, i could not.... btw good thing i did not get hurt. It could have been worse, if i wore a short pants. And then, i had a rest. Recently, i have been busy because i had a test a couple of days ago and i also had a bunch of homework that i had to do. i just stayed at home and watched TV. i felt relaxed and peaceful.

journal #22

2009-01-29T13:41:00.000-08:00

Do not stop me now.

-Don't stop me now-
A few days ago, when i went to kind of a small concert in order to see ji-sun, i was touched by one song written by Queen. It was ' Do not stop me now'. I did not know exactly what i felt from this song. When i listened to this song, i felt something inside of my body. Something like a... i have to something really hard as my effort this time. So..when i got home, i listened to Queen's song so many times. Honestly, i could not count how many times. I am gonna try to remember the lyrics untin i can sing this song without lyrics. Do Not Stop Me Now!!!

Journal #21

2009-01-07T12:50:00.000-08:00

I extremely feel kind of guilty right now. It is because i did not keep my word again. last time when i posted my journal , i set up one rule for me regarding a journal. It was that i post my journal regularly. However, i forgot to post the journal again. Recently, i have been realizing that my English is getting poor. There are many reasons why my English is getting poor. The biggest reason is that i have not been studying for a long time. In addition, i forgot my goal that i set up when i first got here. while i was surfing net, i saw the blog by writing one of my friends. After for a while, i realized that there was something wrong with me. Honestly, his writing is really easy to understand and perfectly organized. I felt like... what i am doing right now.... That's why i felt guilty.... i could not find any of grammar mistakes from his essay and there were many good expressions for writing. I was surprised regard to his essay. i am at a loss for words. There is only one thing i have to do is that studying hard as possibe as you can.

#20 journal.

2008-12-19T14:19:00.000-08:00

Wow.... it has been such a long time to write my journal since i wrote last time. Time does flies when i am having fun. i almost forgot to write a journal. Today, i just went to library to do something like.. study or serch something. i just came up with something i used to write a journal online. So i was trying to find my address of the blog. Fortunately, i found out . And then, i made a decision to continue writing a journal as long as i am satisfied with my writing skill.
So i woud say, this is kind of starting over. i am gonna post a new journal at least once a week. i hope it is probaly more than two times per week.

journal #19

2008-04-16T22:22:00.000-07:00

Um... too late.. anyway

My favorate activity is to do exercise with my friend and sometimes alone. Because whenever i was feeling worrings and had problems, i used to do exercise to relax. i think exercise makes me realx and to be happy. i can forget everything which i am worring while i do exercise. And a exercise makes me health. when doing exercise, i feel to live myself.
My second favorate activity is to listen to music which is expecially R&B. I think anybody sometimes want to be alone because of problem, sometimes no reasons. i also want to be alone when i need time to think about something. Music also helps me to relax. And another reason why i like to listen to music is that i really like to sing. In order to sing a song perfectly. i need to practice. So after listening music. i follow the rhythem and melody.
My third favorate activity is to read cartoon. Actually i don't know why i like to read cartoon. I just like to read cartoon. In cartoon, anything is going to be real and possible. So i like it. Because i like to imagine future and interesting things. Everything is going to be real in cartoon.

i read blog of tyler and jill.

journal #18

2008-04-08T14:56:00.000-07:00

I really want to study english... ^^; But As you know, a break mades me lazy! i have a lot of free time, so everyday i overslept and go to bad late. So balance of life is broken by break. So i was thinking about next break. i also have another long break which is summer break. So i really really feel that i have to make plan. Because it's very long recess for me. Anyway i know sometimes travling is better than studying. So i make an effort to control my mind.

journal #17

2008-04-08T14:39:00.000-07:00

Free journal!

For the first i am going to talk about my spring break. As you know here in america is very huge and big country compare to korea. So if you don't have a car and a drive liscense, maybe your life is going to be hard.
So i really want to get a car and a liscense. So i prepare for my drive test during spring break.
sothing such as traffic sign and rules are so different with korea. So even if i already passed the exam and know about driving skill and sign, i would have to study and practice.
the people who had license in korea overlook this test. So sometimes they can't pass the eaxm. So, for me, i concentrated on my test to pass the exam only one time!
Anyway i got a license. Sure! i passed the test. At that time i was feeling happy and exciting.

journal #16

2008-04-06T11:10:00.000-07:00

Now.. i am going to talk about strategies during this semester. keeping english skill and ability is hard to us for break and weekend. So for me, i expose myself to english as much as possible.
For instance, i read a news paper, i listen to pop music and radio. i watch the movie without script. And i make the chance which talks with native friends. And last... i write the essay.
i think if these strategies are combined, i am getting better english ability compare to now.

journal #15

2008-03-30T17:44:00.000-07:00

Spring break.....
i have long recess. it is spring break. Actually i don't have any plan for spring break. Anyway i am just about to make plan to using my vacation efficiently. So for the first, i have to take a drive license. After i take a license, i will be going to travel. I want to going travel with my friend but he have lots of task. So maybe i will go to travel alone.

And then i will be tring to make native friend to improve english skill and to know american culture. But i think it's hard to make native friend . Because i don't have good english skill yet.
So i have to study english. I know spring break is precious time for me. But i also have another break. it is summer break. So i don't need to hurry. I also have lots of place that i want to go. But
i never rush things.^^

Journal #14

2008-03-24T13:57:00.000-07:00

I am going to think about how i make me unique......and how do you display your cultural identity?
For the first, for me, whenever i have thought about me , i am feeling unique. It's very important to make you unique! so i think thinking makes me unique. i think that most of the people in the world are precious themselves. it depends on their idea. if you want be unique?
right now you have to change your idea.

second, i am going to reply how do you display your cultural identity? i am not famous like jacki chan. i am not movie star. so In fact i don't know how i can do that. So i want to know direction to display our cultual identity. Whenever i have met another country friends , i have explained korea. just....explain.... So i know it's not best way to display my cultual identity. So nowdays i do my best to find best way!

journal #13

2008-03-23T11:22:00.000-07:00

Free journal! so.. i am going to talk about my goal. I have been here for 2 weeks. Each students have different purpose such as some students want to enter the university and another students just improve their eng ability. So for me, my priority goal is to improve my english ablity.
My goal is to enter the international company. like..ms-soft and nokia. It's just example.
Anyway in order to enter the these companies, english skill is necessary, So i am here!
I want to be native. I know it's hard to be native... maybe it's impossible. But i never give up until i get a goal! I continually have to make an effort to achieve my goal.

journal #12

2008-03-21T14:27:00.000-07:00

I like all kinds of movie but especially i like noir movie. Probably....many people who like a movie don't know noir. noir originates from noir film. it means that dark in french.
Mainly noir movies are going to talk about gang or criminal such as the boss which is very famous gang movie in the world and the sweet life which is korean noir movie. these movies have heavy and dark atmosphere.
To tell the truth i don't know how come i like these movies but whenever i watch the these movies, i am feeling something which i am not sure what it is. Maybe.... i think most of the people have to comply with rules and regulation. So sometimes it is hard to keep the rules.
that's why many people are feeling stress about work, supervisor and family...and so on.
Each person have the difference way to relax.
Surely i also have many worrings and stresses. So sometimes i don't want to keep the rules and to follow the rules. Even though i hope to break the rules , i can't do that. To live together, the rules is essential for us. But in the movie, especially noir movie... they never comply with the rules and they don't care about another people's gaze. For me to avoid stressed out , i usually watch the noir movies.